


Simple things

by littlelottie, SpencerKinney81351



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Lost Love, M/M, can this story get any darker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 16:06:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17062802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelottie/pseuds/littlelottie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpencerKinney81351/pseuds/SpencerKinney81351
Summary: It has been two years and Casey still misses the little things.





	Simple things

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to littlelottie

Casey stirred a little under the covers. He didnt want to wake. Not yet. He wanted to stay asleep, to go back to his dream. The dream where he was with his angel again. He buried his face back in the soft pillow, the one that still smelled of his angel, inhaling the fading scent, resisting the pull to wake. Kelly used to make him breakfast. He missed the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the apartment. Now he just existed on liquor and burned toast. 

He existed from day to day,working on construction jobs whenever he could. Needing money to live...well to exist. To drink himself into than euphoric obilvion where he could forget the pain that had shattered his heart. He didnt know how to mend it. Didnt know who could mend it now his angel had gone. The last two years had been the toughest and worst of his life. He had no idea how he’d managed to get through without killing himself. 

He could imagine his angel's voice saying ''Dont mourn me baby...ever. l've had a great life, mostly, and a wonderful life since l've known you. And if the time comes when we are parted by death, know that l will always love you and l'll always be with you''.

The agony of his shattered heart was still there. The love of his life was gone. Nothing could ever change that. He was alone again. As he had been for most of his life. Until Kelly. He didn’t want to be alone, hell he didn’t want to be alive at the moment. 

He missed the way Kelly made him feel when they were close, the way he kissed his head at night before they went to sleep. Now he just wanted to sleep permanently. 

He missed when they went for walks through the city and chased each other across Chicago’s many bridges over the river. Now he just wanted to jump. 

He missed the way they snuggled together on the couch while watching blackhawks games. Now he just wanted to drink himself to death on that same couch. 

It was no way to live. He needed to do something about that. 

He drove out to the cemetery to see Kelly. 

“Kelly I cant do it anymore!” Matt said with tears running down his face. “It’s been two years and I have suffered through every single day of those two years. I’ve had no quality of life without you.”

Matt sank to his knees in front of Kelly’s headstone, then fell the rest of the way to the ground, sobs wracking his body. 

When he had seemingly cried himself out he sat up and pulled out the little bottle of pills his doctor had prescribed for his depression. He hadn’t bothered taking any since he filled the prescription a month ago, so he was going to make up for that now. He popped the top, downed the lot of pills, and his last thought was of the blissful reunion he would have with Kelly.


End file.
